What He Never Said by Mark Findlay Smith

Author:Mark Findlay Smith [Findlay Smith, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sharpe Books
Published: 2021-08-08T22:00:00+00:00

17

The truth about Gray left me in a state of shock and bewilderment. I remember, but only through a kind of haze, making my way down the stairs and reaching the foyer to discover that JP had hurried ahead and there was now no sign of him. And I also remember standing outside the building uncertain what to do next. I considered going back upstairs to the apartment and speaking to Gray just to check it was all true, that he had not died, that he had been, as his mother always wanted him to be, born again but I knew it was true. I had seen it with my own eyes. I knew that the story JP had told me, the story JP believed, was a work of fiction. The question was: what on earth would happen now?

I was particularly worried about JP’s reaction and as soon as I reached my rooms, I sat down and wrote to him urging him to get in touch and tell me he was okay. Later, I sat and listened to the life of the building and the bustle of people and traffic outside and ran over the conversation with Gray. I did not, could not, understand his motivation, perhaps because I had never been an addict of drugs, or perhaps because I had never shared the religious mania of his mother. But I had enormous pity for the poor man. I could hear in his sobs, when he first saw JP, and I could see in his anxious face, that the decision to ‘die’ had not been taken lightly. He felt he had no choice. But I also knew that the police, particularly Chief Inspector Downs, was likely to take a different view, especially if they assumed, as I am sure they would, that he had hidden behind the name of another man to avoid being conscripted into the army.

In the days that followed, my anxiety was only heightened by the fact there was no reply from JP. Indeed, I heard nothing from my friend for two weeks, and the spring break had begun so I did not see him at university either. For a couple of days, I wondered whether I should seek him out at his rooms, or even go to see Gray again. But I think I was beginning to get to know JP better and knew there was little point in trying to harry him. I would simply have to wait.

As usual, my friendship with Corie was a consolation, but even she could not comfort me completely. A couple of days after the extraordinary meeting with Gray, she and I went to O’Henri’s and she could see at once that I was distracted and told me that I was being a terrible bore. I smiled and tried my best, but I couldn’t hide my distraction and despondency and suggested we make an early night of it. Corie pretended to sulk, but she took my arm and I escorted her back to her small flat and then walked back to my rooms.

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